Husbands, love your wives…..
Okay, Guys, this blog is especially for you. You’re soon to be a husband. You’re looking forward to calling this woman you love "your wife". Oh, happy days! It is going to be absolutely wonderful.
Or will it? In this era of rampant divorce where over 50% of marriages in the USA end in divorce, it almost seems inevitable that, at best, most marriages last only a few years. So how can YOU avoid this pitfall? What can you do to ensure you don’t end up a statistic and worse yet, when you have children, become ‘a Disneyland dad’ who has only visiting rights?
Fortunately, a happy marriage is not only possible, but achievable and the key is given to us by God Himself. In His holy word, the very creator of marriage tells us, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Ephesians 5:25) So simple …. yet very profound in this day where we are trained to think only of "numero uno".
For many men, to "love your wife" immediately brings the physical aspect of marriage to mind. In reality, though, for the wife, the physical part of marriage starts elsewhere in the home and not in the bedroom. In order for a woman to truly welcome her husband’s advances, she must feel loved before she gets in the bed. But when she does, her response to the physical aspect of marriage is a natural outpouring of her feelings of being loved and appreciated.
So how does a new husband make his wife feel truly loved? For women, this can happen in many, many ways. Fun, laughter, planning and doing things together, genuine praise, working side by side on a project, meaningful conversation, a wink, a caring pat on the rear, recognizing and appreciating her interests, helping fold the clothes, touching her face and telling her she’s beautiful, a spontaneous hug, a picnic in the woods, holding hands in public, snuggling while watching TV, encouraging her to take a break while you do the dishes, playing cards or Scrabble together, surprising her with a flower you picked from the roadside, a love note tucked in her jacket pocket, being patient when she’s running late, a kind word, an understanding look, looking into her eyes when you say, "I love you, Honey", calling her work to see how her day is going, a silly gesture such as encouraging her to hop on your back and running a short distance, grocery shopping together, buying a kooky surprise at the dollar store, a card in the mail or a voice mail left at her office, a stroll in the park, putting her picture on your desk, making something together, appreciating her cooking, scratching her bug bite, rubbing her sore feet, drawing a picture (stick people are okay) of you holding hands, helping her plant an herb garden, making valentines cards with glue and lace for family and friends, posting a note on the frig for "the prettiest girl in the world", encouraging her to sit on your lap while she shares a concern, going with her to the department store to try perfume samples, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, sharing a secret, working on the budget together, making banana splits at home, bringing her a glass of ice water when she’s working in the flower garden, cleaning up the patio without being asked, opening her car door, starting a journal of special memories together, making up a silly song all about her, saving her cards in a special box, fixing something special on the grill for supper, recruiting a friend to find out what she really wants for Christmas, always remembering your anniversary & her birthday, buying a surprise out of the bubble gum machine, sitting on the same side of the booth in restaurants, ticking her when she seems down, singing "your song" and insist she dance with you, print out an article from the internet that she would enjoy, keep a band-aid in your wallet in case she ever needs one, be willing to trim her bangs if she ever asks, tell her she looks like a model and have a photo shoot, fly a kite together on a windy day, plan a getaway for just the two of you, roar like a lion when she makes you feel frisky, build a snowman together, send her parents a thank you note for having her, explain that’s why you have insurance if she ever causes a wreck, do something neighborly for someone less fortunate, go bowling with mutual friends, notice her new hair-do, go on a hike together, buy matching bicycles and ride to the store, frame a copy of your wedding invitation and hang it in a special spot, hold her when she’s scared, give her the remote one night and watch what she wants (cheerfully), clean out her car, fix breakfast for supper and serve her in bed, listen and talk to her tummy when she’s pregnant, give her a back rub, surprise her by picking up her dry cleaning, help her organize the closet, treat everything as an adventure, always be positive, ask for her ideas, run her a bubble bath and have it waiting when she gets home, occasionally mop the floor for her, fill a little basket with pampering goodies for her, clean the outside of the windows while she does the inside, build a fire even in the early fall, go putt-putt, exercise together, rub noses, wash the dog together, dig the hole for new tree she wants, put a dimmer on the bedroom light, give her some extra money when she’s going shopping with the girls, plan a surprise party in her honor, hang a hummingbird feeder near the kitchen window to enjoy, write out a list of what you love about her and give her a copy, fix chicken noodle soup when she’s sick and serve with a note that you hope she feels better soon, go to a playground and swing on the swings, put a spare key under her car, call into her favorite radio station when you know she is listening and have them dedicate a song to her, take your family to church, build a bird house and become birdwatchers, pay compliments when she looks nice, have a rock-throwing contest, rent her favorite movie and serve popcorn, go online and make a wish list of future vacations, tell her you love her every morning when you first wake up, grab an umbrella and her hand and take a walk in the rain, re-commit your love for her after every wedding you attend, often thank her for marrying you, never compare her to mom or other women unless it is where she shines, plant a butterfly bush and enjoy the springtime "flutterby’s", making s’mores together, etc, etc, etc. Most importantly, lead your family in prayer and daily devotions.
God’s word goes on to admonish, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church." (verses 28,29)
Christ himself said it best. After washing his disciples’ feet, He told them, "For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you." (John 13:15) Washing the disciples feet was an act of selflessness, showing great humility and the depth of willingness to serve on Christ’s part. But, more than that, Jesus ultimately gave His very life on our behalf when He died on the cross for our sins.
In comparison, the time and energy you spend in developing a meaningful relationship with your wife will pale by comparison to Christ’s example. It may not always be easy but the secret is found in Hebrews 12:2 which says, "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
So, Husbands, look for opportunities to love and cherish your wife. Your efforts will not only reap abundant rewards but will result in a truly satisfying marriage for both you and your wife!
